Today started off as a normal, regular day. Breakfast, clean up, dressed for a nice walk with the kids, baby morning nap, Reed in room time, shower.......then checking email, facebook, etc. So I kept seeing all these status updates on fb from fellow high school mates about another girl we graduated with. What in the world was going on I wondered?? So as I continued to look at people's profiles that were more close with this girl, I finally found this.....from the local newspaper at home (you can click on the link if you're interested in more details). But basically a girl I graduated with, Sarah, was murdered by her husband last night, who then left the scene and went to kill himself!
All day I've continued to think of these people and this situation, how can one not?! I knew her, was definitely a casual friend with her and the people close to her. But of course have not really been in any contact or interaction with any of them in years, except for the reconnection on the world of facebook. What has resonated with me most of the day, of course, was did/do any of them know Jesus?? I know in high school my association with them was the typical party scene, which I dabbled in some, but for most of those of you who know me well, know I wasn't one of those radical conversions due to my wild and crazy life. Yes, I was/am a sinner and needed a Savior, but definitely was the other spectrum of living morally and thinking I was saved because of that. So from back then, no none of them probably were believers, but now-16 years later (wow how has it been 16 years since I graduated high school????) I have no idea where any of them are spiritually. So my heart has weighed heavy with this burden for them all-Sarah most of all, as constantly wondering if she knew Jesus, and then all those close to her, do any of them know our Sovereign Lord either?? Because for anyone this is hard to process and truly grasp the truths and promises of God in walking through a tragedy like this, but for one who doesn't know Him--how can you at all have any hope whatsoever?!
So why I'm writing this post I'm not really sure, just my heart and mind have just been so heavy and burdened with thoughts of this all day. And most of all it has humbled me that God is such a gracious and merciful God. Why He chose to save a wretch like me I'll never understand, but how much in that truth and fact that I have to be thankful for! Thankful that He has changed my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh, that no matter what I do He sees the righteousness of His Son covering all my tainted deeds! Thankful that He continues to be at work and sanctify me, that He is faithful when I'm am so not! And humbled so much that any of us are only one step away from the awful things of this world, like my friend fell a victim to. But only our hope in the One who redeems us and saves us is ultimately all we have to trust in--and to look forward with great joy to the day He returns to us and we get to live forever with Him!